First dates are always crucial. It is a major milestone in the journey of love, and it plays a very important role in the making or breaking of a budding relationship. We pay attention to every single thing that they do which will add up to an overall conclusion about the possibility of a second date. We notice their gestures, the way they talk and comment about things, or the way they thank the waiter gently. These small but meaningful acts will cause the butterflies in our stomach to appear. On the other hand, there are also some things which will immediately let you know that it will not ever work out if carried out in a longer term.
The biggest red flags of your first date may include:
Annoying Ex Talk
The conversations in a first date should ideally revolve around the most basic information. You probably will talk about your job, your hometown, your hobby, your favorite artist or the most memorable movie that you have ever watched. More often than not, things can get a little bit personal once the mood gets a bit more comfortable and embracing. Nevertheless, if the conversation slowly turns into the topic of their last relationship and their ex, there may be some unresolved feelings which still linger. Whether he talks about it in a reflective, angry or comparative way, his ex is definitely still on his mind. There are still a lot of other things which can be discussed in a first date, so talking about an ex is clearly a signal for you to run away.
Brag and Boast
You may choose to meet with this person due to the fact that he has got some potentials to be your lover. You probably have done your research online, and you may be falling head over heels after seeing their adventurous summer vacations or their admirable achievements aside from his full time job. However, if your date appears to be talking over and over again about how he spent his last summer swimming with the sharks in Indonesia or how he has shared a chopper ride with Obama, do realize that he may be overcompensating for something else. Regardless of whatever he may be overcompensating, constant bragging and boasting about himself on a first date may also mean that he is a totally self-centered individual.
He can be good looking with a neatly ironed shirt and a shiny flawless leather shoes, but you probably should not proceed if he turns out to be a control-freak. His crazy controlling habit can be observed even from the earliest moments, for example if he decides to order your foods and beverages, making pretty much every single decision for you regardless of the fact that you two have not known each other that much yet. Extreme controlling behavior is definitely a warning sign. If he tries to conquer the dinner session now, chances are he will be controlling your whole life once you have let him do so.
Straight Up “Something More”
If you are looking for a potential long term partner, watch out for the signs that he may be looking for “something more”. This can be judged by the way he can be too touchy without respecting your boundaries whether it is spoken or as a gesture. You can also immediately tell that he wants something quick and easy if he says word like “I’m not really the boyfriend (or husband or relationship) kind of guy. On the other hand, you may also want to watch out for those melodramatic guys who utter utter the words “I Love You” very very early during the first date.